Leave the past in the past? Maybe not!

Here we go!! So, you know how people say we need to learn from our past?!? Well, that usually is referring to something negative right? Not this time. Have we ever considered looking at the past and going back there? It is a biblical principle Jeremiah 6:16 says to go back to the old paths if you want things to be back the way it should be. 

The thing that started this thinking was when I learned recently that the Ten Commandments were posted in school until 1980! You mean we used to teach our children what morality was?? The ABCs were taught with Bible verses until 1900, Bible study was required to graduate from high school! Children were not spared the “rod” at school. Respect was not only expected it was demanded. Girls were taught what it was to be a servant to there husbands. (I want to put a little disclaimer in here that if it were my way everyone would homeschool their children, and teach them biblical truth, morality and work on character issues, before reading, writing and arithmetic. Parents being fully responsible for training there children in the way that they should go.)

                                            Excerpt from a 1950s Home Economics Textbook

Compiled by Ms. Leslie Blankship

Columbus, Ohio

Have dinner ready: Plan ahead even the night before to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-wary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quite. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax-unwind.

Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.                                                               

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

 Wives stayed home in order not to blasphemy the word of God (Titus 2:5). 

Some interesting quotes and statistics I found.

1774 - Ben Franklin stated, “Introduce into public affairs the principles of Christianity and it will change the face of the world.”

Violent crimes went up 544% since religious principles were removed from schools in 1963. Thomas Jefferson said that religion is the friend to government because it teaches morals of the heart.

Before 1962, the courts said, “We only allow divorce for six reasons. They are the six reasons God allows as written in the bible. God made the family (Adam’s and Noah’s) and so we have to use God’s precepts/rules to govern the family.” What??? Wow!!!

This is only a short list, but enough to maybe make you too think about the past.

Part 2 Taking lead

Part 2
Disclaimer: To my family and friends You may not want to read this, there are things in this section that you may shock you and disappoint you. I am ashamed of my past but thankful for a redeemer who has forgiven me, and grown me into the God fearing woman I am today. I am thankful that He can use my past to help someone else come to His glory, therefore I share. 


The reason for the disclaimer is because I feel like I need go back a little in my past in order to make sense of my fear and "need" to try and become the spiritual leader of my family.

In my past I was a lying, swearing, drunken, cigarette/pot smoking, adulteress. addicted to pornography (what? that only happens to men, not true), sexually immoral, cheating wife, and blasphemer. I hurt almost everyone I knew in some form or another. I believed many lies of the enemy. I no longer have any struggle with these things. Thank you Lord for setting me free! Quick clarification I did not cheat on Richie, I was married once before.

Richie and I are so blessed in our story, We had both walked away from our faith, for me I would say completely. I can't speak for him. When we met we were both needed the Lord, he so graciously did that through each other. We started out small, getting back to church, then came cleaning up our mouths they way we spoke didn't fit into what we believed. Then came an engagement and a commitment to stay pure until our wedding day. I will tell you that was a huge struggle, and I can't say that God will completely bless us for it, but I can say we did wait to have sex until our wedding night! We were starting to experience love, true love, love beyond an emotion. We got married. My husband had to work in Wenatchee 2 months after we got married which was very hard on me because I was still very weak in my faith and was relying on him way too much for guidance and security. I was fearful because he was surrounded 24/7 by non christians, drunkards and adulterers (yes I know this for a fact). At that time in our lives my husband struggled with pornography that was being sent via text messages from other people (funny how the devil uses the same tricks, something similar happened in my past). My insecurity went out the window (I wasn't pretty/sexy enough etc.) I basically moved into that hotel room with him, out of fear of our marriage, I wasn't letting the enemy win. Out of this God drew us closer together and the text messages soon stopped coming. We decided four months into our marriage that we were going to see if God would bless us with a child, four months later we conceived.
 It was during this time that I began to try and lead my husband aka play his Holy Spirit. I was convinced that I was doing better then him spiritually because his sins seem more apparent (note: I wasn't looking at myself) The Holy Spirit was convicting me and showing me that music I was listening to and movies I was watching were not edifying to the Lord. I tried convincing him that he need to shape up too, that ended in shear argument. You see the Holy Spirit convicts as we grow and only when we are ready to hear, not before. I went as far as throwing movies away and basically shunning him when he chose to watch or listen to a song that I didn't approve of. Let just say it wasn't real healthy on the marriage. I have a wonderful loving husband who is so forgiving, thank you Lord!

When I found out I was having a girl, I think I went off the deep end when it came to fear. Fear that my husband wasn't going to lead us correctly spiritually and my daughters were going to suffer, Fear about having to tell my daughters all the things I have done, fear that they would repeat the things that I have done. Fear that people would learn about my past, Fear that I wasn't adequate to raise daughters. I now do not fear!

I grew up in a christian home, my father is a minister, my mother was a stay home mom. I have two older brothers and two younger brothers. I am the only girl. I had a pretty normal childhood as far as I can remember.  But, I believe that their is a spirit of sexual immorality on both sides or our family that has been oppressing our family for generations, that bondage will not affect my children, we have recognized it and cast it away in Jesus name! Why is that relevant? There is so much sexual sin and bondage in my family and it is important to recognize sin that is affecting your generation. We want to create multi-generational faithfulness and break multi-generational sin.

I just realized this could end up super long so I'm going to shorten it, if you want full details about each conviction, on why they are conviction and the story of how we came to agreement on them, let me know and I can elaborate at a later time.

My convictions that apply to my family:
Movies/Music
Homeschooling
Letting God decided our family size
Reading the Bible to our Children everyday
Reading and praying daily together

I tried to convince my husband in everyone of these things, I pushed, pleaded, begged, cried and tried to research my way, to become his way. Every time it ended up in an argument, and me believing lies from the devil about my husband. Lies that he was inadequate as our spiritual leader, and leaving him frustrated and feeling inadequate. Here is the truth, I was playing the Holy Spirit, I was fearful and insecure, I wasn't trusting God to raise him up to be a man after God's own heart. I wasn't patient and enduring "long-suffering." I was walking in sin. Thank you Lord for being so forgiving.

After going to a Above Rubies women's conference, I realized that I wasn't praying for my husband. I was praying selfishly. I started changing the way I prayed. I prayed for my heart to change, for my eyes to see him as Christ sees him. I prayed for us to be equal in all things and on all levels. I found a great prayer in "The Power of a Praying Wife Book of Prayers" by, Stormie Omartian, I prayed this prayer daily probably for six months. I focused on Amos 3:3.

First came the homeschooling, then some music, family size, reading daily to our girls, reading and praying daily, then movies and more music.

I know these are all from the Lord, because I wouldn't have come up with them on my own. The question I have, why am I usually convicted first? I don't really know for sure, but like I said in part one we are much more sensitive by nature. We maybe more sensitive to the Holy Spirits promptings. What have I learned from this? Pray! Pray for equality, pray for like mindedness, pray for conformation and pray unselfishly.

My hopes is that I haven't disappointed any of you by my past, but that you can praise God for lifting me up from the pit I was in, that you can be proud of the woman I have become and becoming.

Some may be wondering why I talked about my sinful past, the answer so the devil doesn't have a foothold in my life. James 5:16 says to confess your faults one to another, trust me there is freedom in that.

I was so blind, but now I see. My chains are gone, I've been set free! Freedom in Christ what a wonderful gift!

Part 1 Taking Lead


After watching a youtube video of Adam and Eve with my two year old daughter I came to a revelation. Eve wasn't with Adam when Satan tempted her with the forbidden fruit and convinced her to eat it. This got me thinking about Genesis 2:18 where God created woman to be her own husbands help meet. (He created us as wives to come along side as equals with our husbands but with different jobs that are both so important. We are both called to serve each other. ) I am wondering where Adam was at the time? It got me thinking if she wasn't with him was she wondering on a head of him, not letting him lead? God created man first they are in charge of leading our family they will be held accountable for leading our families. We as woman will be accountable for following and assisting our husbands, not leading our husbands. I got to thinking that from the beginning of time have wives been over stepping their roles and trying to take lead, feeling their husband is lacking in some area? I don't know if this is the case with Adam and Eve but it got me thinking what if it was. What if Eve took it on her own accord to wonder out from under the protection of her husband, breaking the perfect design intended for marriage. Eve blamed the snake for tricking her, we blame others, a lot of times our husbands instead of looking at ourselves. My question is how can our husbands take reign if we already are, how inadequate are we making them feel? I am wondering if Adam took that bite of fruit because Eve made him feel inadequate, made him feel ashamed that he wasn't protecting his wife as God had called him to do. Now flip it around, it's Adams turn to answer God, but what does he do? He blames Eve. Now we have the husband not taking ownership of his own faults (sins). It's a vicious cycle!  


1 Peter 3:7 talks about wives being a weaker vessel, now hold on a minute, I think what was meant her was the sensitivity we have. We are by nature more emotional and sensitive then most men. I think we throw a lot of emotion around and let that lead us, instead of truth. There is only one way to get a hold of these emotions, that is practice. I think we need to reign in our emotions and look at the real pictures. Most likely we are stepping into the husband role out of fear. Fear of what you say? I don't know, for everyone it will be different. 2 Timothy 1:7 says that the Lord did not give us a spirit of fear. The second thing we need to look at is why are we arguing? If we were to honestly look at the reasons we argue with our spouses or anyone else, it comes down to a fear inside of us. As James 4:1 talks about quarreling coming from desires that war within us. 


So whats my point? Whats my conclusion? hmmmm well first and foremost be honest with yourself, then with your spouse. Be vulnerable and humble. The devil wants you afraid, he wants you to believe that they won't understand you, won't be sensitive enough etc. Don't come at it with your defenses up.


I can't say my revelation about Adam and Eve is true, but it sure got me thinking. I hope it makes you think too.  


Part 2 will be my story of trying to take lead of my husbands role and how when I released it to God, it was better then I could have ever imagined.


God Bless and thanks for taking a trip inside my head :)


UPDATE: As I was talking about humility, I have to ask for forgiveness for not opening my Bible where it says in Genesis 3:6 that Adam was with Eve....that blows my revelation out of the water, and a great reminder for me to check my Bible before taking something from a children's You tube video lol, It doesn't however take my views away from the fact that too many wives are trying to step into their husbands roles, or the fact that too many of us have fear and aren't honest and humble with our spouse.  Glad my first post wasn't perfect, now you all know the truth I'm NOT PERFECT, just simply a woman :)